her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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