what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
