It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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