It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
