4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
