Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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