this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
