that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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