WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
