..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
