I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
