i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
