And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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