we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
