You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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