Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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