Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
