D3 body, D1 cock
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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