I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Who put my cat in the fridge?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
