Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
you never un-have a 4some
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