so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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