dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
