there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
