Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
