If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
