I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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