Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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