false alarm. still invincible.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
