take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
