When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i've created a new STD.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
