so let's talk penis.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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