Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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