So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
