You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
