I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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