Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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