Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I need to calm my uterus...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
