fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
