Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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