all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
