Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
