Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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