she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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