its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
