Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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