who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
