Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
