we have officially lost it.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
