TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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