i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
